(Letter)

(Compelled to write this letter)

Dear Mavis, I'm compelled to write this letter

In the hope that you may soon be getting better

I've a feeling you should go and see a doctor

If you haven't then you know you really oughta

I was worried, so I went to see the vicar

But before I could confess, he first confessed to be a stripper

Dear Mavis, it was very strange to see him

So I thought I'd write and ask for your opinion

Should I grass on him, report him to the cardinal?

Or whether I should egg him on to turn professional?

If I dob on him, they'll call him plastic scouser

But the only thing the stripper vicar wears is plastic trousers

Mavis' opinion

All we really seek

Mavis' opinion

All we

Should we lie, while he's still alive?

Should we lie, while he's still alive?

'Cause when the vicar strips, he gets away with it

Dear Mavis, thought I'd follow up my letter

Drop a line about the fate of our poor vicar

Very tragically his time on Earth is ended

Found him gagged and bound in stockings and suspenders

Dear Mavis, if you tell us what your thoughts are

And I hope that they're not biased

'Cause you are the vicar's daughter

Mavis' opinion

All we really seek

Mavis' opinion

All we

Should we lie, now that he has died?

Should we lie, now that he has died?

'Cause when the vicar strips, he gets away with it

(And we know him as our vicar)

(And by night a part-time stripper)

(And our vicar got suspended)

(In his stockings and suspenders)

(And he's making wine from water)

(While he dresses like his daughter)

(And we know that he's a rip off)

('Cause we've seen him with his kit off)

Should we lie, now that he has died? (And we know him as our vicar, and by night a part-time stripper, and our vicar got suspended, in his stockings and suspenders)

Should we lie, now that he has died? (And he's making wine from water, while he dresses like his daughter, and we know that he's a rip off, 'cause we've seen him with his kit off)

'Cause when the vicar strips, he gets away with it