Someone Else's Wife

Oh good Lord my wife is hot as mid-July

But when she starts cookin' it makes me cry

She can't cook shit burns every damn thing

Oh good Lord let me return this ring

She can't cook worth a damn, that's the country truth

Burned the grits, damn near scorched the roof

Last night's chili almost took my life

God please give me someone else's wife

Every single night I fight for my life

Mashed potatoes harder than my ex wife

She burned my biscuits and turned the corn black

Lord, if you don't help me, I'll start doing crack

She can't cook worth a shit Lord save my soul

Boiled the damn beans 'til they fell through the bowl

Every meal she makes tastes like country ass

I'm beggin' for mercy, Lord, I ain't gonna last

It's a goddamn crime, every nights the same

One more bite and I'll forget my name

I can't do this for the rest of my life

God please give me someone else's wife

If the devil had a kitchen, she'd be the cook

Her food's so bad I'd rather eat a book

Cold green beans and chili from a can

Save me from this God forsaken land

I'm losing weight Lord, I ain't the same

She brings shame to my family name

Lord hear my cries, I can't live this life

God, please give me someone else's wife