album cover
Conditioned
Alternative
Conditioned was released on October 18, 2024 by Reality Is Painful Records as a part of the album Consumed
album cover
Release DateOctober 18, 2024
LabelReality Is Painful Records
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM125

Credits

COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Krystal Evette
Krystal Evette
Songwriter

Lyrics

Should have seen it all along
How could I have been so wrong?
Thought I hit the bullseye
I hit the wall
The higher that I rise
The farther down I fall
Thought I left behind your arcade
I thought I finally beat the game
I thought that I won
I thought that I fled
Still stuck in this state
Still lie in this bed
There's no leaving
There's no victory
So close to giving up
That's how you made me
The pieces on the board
That you had positioned
I was never consumed
I was just conditioned
Apologized on repeat
Till I mirrored it
Bones in my closet
Thought I cleared it
Thought that I would wince less
When I heard your name
It's almost two years on
And I still carry shame
Told me memories tainted
All these places
Now I see
That's just one of your faces
Didn't used to care
Now every win is a loss
I can't sleep at night
I just turn and toss
There's no dreaming
There's just nightmares
So close to feeling safe
But you just made me scared
Your role in my timeline
You set your position
I thought I was healed
I was still conditioned
Resentment isn't a strong enough word
Thought that I grew wings
Still caged like a bird
Said after you
I'd never be the same
Hate that you were right
Can't put out the flames
I can't repair
What I keep remaking
Used all the glue
I just keep re-breaking
Gouge out my ears
Cuz your voice is too loud
And if I could
I'd burn this house to the ground
Wrote many stories
But this isn't fiction
Stuck in your basement
With all your old victims
From 24 to life
I'm stuck in this prison
I'm only consumed
Cuz I was conditioned
You changed how I think
Drove me to drink
Brought me up to the brink
Thought I couldn't sink
Don't know what was real
Still don't know how to feel
Don't think I'll ever heal
Won't leave till I keel
Over, you groomed me
Trapped in these rooms, he
Hunted, perused me
With words he'd wound me
No tears to cry
Just sitting asking why
You had to ruin my life
Now I just want to die
Maybe then
I could feel peace
Maybe then
The thoughts would cease
The survival cost
Will just increase
Only my corpse
Could break this lease
You're never the same
After you've been groomed
You can't act normal
Once you've been consumed
He'd say"just stop all that bitchin"
And deny I was ever conditioned
I was never consumed
I was just conditioned
I was never obsessed
I was just conditioned
I was never in love
I was just conditioned
Still trapped in this hell
Still stuck in this prison
Written by: Krystal Evette
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