album cover
Holding Patterns
17
Alternative
Holding Patterns was released on October 20, 2017 by Lonely Ghost Records as a part of the album First Things First
album cover
Release DateOctober 20, 2017
LabelLonely Ghost Records
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM108

Music Video

Music Video

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
Hodera
Hodera
Performer
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Matt Smith
Matt Smith
Songwriter

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
I've been living in the same town for the past eight years
And going to the same place and
[Verse 2]
There's always this kind of feeling of stagnancy that exists within me
Like I just feel like I'm not moving anywhere sometimes
I, I need to, I need to do something
[Verse 3]
I get, feel like there's nowhere interesting that I can go or
Nothing more that I could do and nobody else that I can meet
[Verse 4]
And I moved
[Verse 5]
I moved to New Brunswick
[Verse 6]
Moved across the country twice
[Verse 7]
To a city where there, it's gonna be beautiful
There're gonna be people and
And a all new environment and a new place to be
When I get there, I will feel actually alone
[Verse 8]
You know, if, if I would've known that this was the person
I would turn out to be when like, when I was a kid
Thinking about post-college, I'd be furious with myself
Even as a young kid, even if I didn't understand
[Verse 9]
I've  been tryna get a job for two years
[Verse 10]
For whatever reason, they just won't fuckin' hire me
And everything right now, I'm just kind of in a really dark place
[Verse 11]
I'm on like five years now of dealing with it
And every year, it seems to get worse
Even with it like getting better or letting up
[Verse 12]
You know, you wake up at 22 years old
Having still not dealt with what you want or where you wanna be
Who you want to be with, you know what I mean?
You spend thousands upon thousands of dollars
Getting a degree and  a education and you still end up working at a bar
And living paycheck to paycheck
[Verse 13]
Give the strength
And the why to go live
Give the strength
And the why to go live
[Verse 14]
It seemed that people you admire the most
Like writers and musicians who speak the most profoundly
About what, what you're experiencing, um
Speak about it in a way that like touches you and makes sense to you
You know, resonates, makes you feel like
There is someone who understands
Seeing those people get to like 40 and end up killing themselves
And wondering, well, shit, I'm 21 and I already wanna die
[Verse 15]
Give the strength
And the why to go live
[Verse 16]
Give the strength
And the why to go live
[Verse 17]
I look out and I see the trees
They still look the same ways they do all the time
I've always just, I feel like I'm having crazy feelings
Walk me through, we're in a loop
I've walked through, I want, I want to move forward
[Verse 18]
To go live, go live
Go live
Go live
[Verse 19]
I don't wanna stay here for another month, I think I'll lose my mind
[Verse 20]
I have to start a new life, you know?
[Verse 21]
I just can't do this anymore
I always just like accepted it, gotta let it happen
[Verse 22]
I meant to kill myself, but then was like
I've gotta get the fuck outta here
I need to focus for myself, find myself again
[Verse 23]
I just hope that like, I can be around for a reason
You know what I'm sayin'?
[Verse 24]
It's one of the hardest things in life is to break those kinds of patterns
You know, holding on to those, those vicious, maniacal patterns
Written by: Matt Smith
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