I'm a Jew, though, and I don't like Nazis

However, at least the original Nazis

I kind of understood the argument, you know

They were like, "We're the master race"

I'm like, "I don't like that at all"

But, you know, then I looked at them

They're like on amphetamines

They're fighting a war on two fronts

They're all wearing Hugo Boss suits

With like those leather boots

Driving around in Porsches

Being like, "We're the master race"

I'm like, "No, you're not, but I see where you're coming from"

You know, like, at least I got the argument

These new Nazis, I don't get it at all

The new Nazis are like, "We're the master race"

I'm like, "You have type 2 diabetes, what are we even talking about here?

You're not wearing Hugo Boss, those are cargo shorts and Crocs, like, come on"

You're not driving a Porsche

You're riding a scooter at the airport

Please, please, that is not a master race behavior

I've been paying attention to anti-Semitism, you know

So sneaky, clever, and insidious

It's kind of amazing Jews didn't come up with it

Sometimes they're just like puzzles, you know?

But I was watching a documentary all about that Charlottesville rally

And they're following, you know, a bunch of dudes from West Virginia

Going to that Charlottesville rally

And they're like, "Jews will not replace us! Jews will not replace us!"

And I'm sitting there being like, "Yeah, we're not coming for your jobs in the coal mines"

Jews, we're a sea level people, alright?

We don't like small, confined spaces because, uh, you know

Never invited you to an escape room is my point, guys, alright?

We're not looking at Cosplay Anne Frank, that's not a good time for us

I know, I know, 'cause this buddy of mine, one time he's like

"Oh, a group of us, we're taking the train out to Long Island to go to this escape room, you gotta come"

I was like, "Did you just invite a Jew to take a train to an escape room?"

What are you gonna do next? Invite a black dude to take a boat ride to an auction?

"Hey, DeMarcus, we're taking the ferry to Sotheby's, you wanna come?"

"Nah, son, nah"

"We're hittin' a bonfire afterwards, I'm good"