Flowers

I'm afraid to fall asleep

Every night I lie awake for hours

Avoiding all the dreams

Reliving the day you came home with flowers

Stuck lying in your bed

Paralyzed with pain, but dying to leave

Listening to you beg

As if flowers could make up for what you'd done to me

You stole my body, turned it against my mind

Then you stole the next 5 fucking years of my life

Cause I spent them pushing everyone away

Who cared about me cause you made it unsafe

To be loved

You made it dangerous

Told myself it wasn't true

You just didn't feel me crying, hear my screaming out to stop

I made every excuse

But the guilt ridden flowers always came back to haunt

So I tried to move on

Instead of letting people in, kept finding reasons to run

Cause you can't afford to be wrong

When you've been raped by the person who held all your trust

You stole my body, turned it against my mind

Then you stole the next 5 fucking years of my life

Cause I spent them pushing everyone away

Who cared about me cause you made it unsafe

To be loved

You made it dangerous

And you said I broke your heart but you shattered my soul

I don't know if I can love again, I can't get vulnerable

I'll try my whole life to heal harm you caused in one night

And you get to forget, tell yourself you're a good guy

You said I broke your heart but you shattered my soul

I don't think I'll ever love again, I can't get vulnerable

You won't face it, just erase it, you get to be a fucking coward

But my brain's forever stained with the image of those flowers

You stole my body, turned it against my mind

Then you stole the next 5 fucking years of my life

Cause I spent them pushing everyone away

Who cared about me cause you made it unsafe

To be loved

You made it dangerous

So I try not to fall asleep

Count the minutes, watch them add up to hours

That I get to go without the dreams

Of the day that you traded my life for some flowers