How did I get things so wrong

I thought I'd found the answer thought I'd found my place

But meeting you was like a mirror showing my mistakes

Every word every look it was riddled with doubt

Was I chasing you or what I couldn't live without?

The nights were loud the lights were dim

Was it me in your eyes or the version you let in?

And every time I reached for more

I ended up outside the door

How did I get things so wrong?

Falling into arms that don't hold on

Was it you I was craving or the scene I'm stuck inside?

Even when they use me I still run I still confide

I can't seem to let it go

This constant guessing game that makes me part of his show

You had this chat this pull this mask I couldn't name

A perfect lie I clung to thinking I could play the game

But every time you smiled it felt like a test

Was it love I was seeking or just my own self respect?

The masks we wore the roles we played

Left me hollow lost betrayed

And yet I stayed I can't explain

Addicted in the chemical fleeting pain

How did I get things so wrong?

Falling into arms that don't hold on

Was it you I was craving or the scene I'm stuck inside?

Even when they use me I still run I still confide

I can't seem to let it go

This constant guessing game that makes me part of his show

Was it the way they looked at me a fleeting sense of worth?

Or was I just a ghost haunting someone else's earth?

I tried to fill the void with faces I don't know

But now I'm drowning in the waves I let control

How did I get things so wrong?

Falling into arms that don't hold on

Was it you I was craving or the scene I'm stuck inside?

Even when they use me I still run I still confide

I can't seem to let it go

This constant guessing game that makes me part of his show

Maybe it was never you maybe it was me

A prisoner to the image of who I thought I should be

But now I see the truth and it's time to take the blame

No more chasing such deceit in this constant guessing game