My whole life I felt beaten and used

I can't even see the truth but I believe that you do

I'm hearing laughter as the passing glances follow me through

Nobody really gives a damn but I'm convinced that it's true

I try to sleep and rest my head at night

Fighting with the flashing images of what I said I might

Have been misunderstood It's nothing Fuck it it'll be alright

Like I am not a sudden perfect person I'm a prototype

I fight self with my image

With night light humming I write out my symptoms

Time stained stuck in my brain I think with it

Wicked wishes unaware of the way the plot thickens

God gifted the man with a fish

Damage was done when man imagined that this God was bitch

How could he ever bear the weight of casting rods on his wrist?

Why should he ever have to catch them if the hunger persists?

But yet in that is the gift

The product of a constant effort is that life is a bitch

The pain is lateral attached to all the joy that you get

I had to battle with conflict for satisfaction within

I choose to do it again

Rinse and repeat the seed I planted bears its fruit once a year

I gotta inch my way to victory and mask what I fear

I'm screaming loudly but I will admit there's nothing to hear

Wasting time when I feel low

Scroll for hours on my phone

Always think something is wrong  

I know I know

Wasting time when I feel low

Scroll for hours on my phone

Always think something is wrong  

I know I know

Always look for reassurance

Reassess the situation; here's two cents for your endurance

This mess that I been making ain't discovered what the source is

But I bet that Occam's razor is a Martian in my orbit

I beat a broken record like a sore dick

Pick apart the better days to recreate a portion

I'm balanced on an Ativan and acting like a corpse when

All the opportunities are only offered in my torment

Damn Can't stop or drop courses

No roll call in atomic bombing my bullshit

That bought a lot of time to get bottled up in my morbid

Sick obsession with the lesson that's negative reinforcement

Yeah I trot in on high horses

Talk about hypocrisy walking on air forces

Preach about the danger of vanity while I'm looking in a mirror and convinced that I'm stronger than George Foreman

Four horseman die when I do but the proof is in pudding I am just like you

I'm new to this "what should I do" mindset like life is my best guess too

What do you do? What do you say? What do you think? And how have you found a wound in my waste?

Hey I'm-a show 'em every single day

I'm a side show bumping succotash so suddenly

Wasting time when I feel low

Scroll for hours on my phone

Always think something is wrong

I know I know

Wasting time when I feel low

Scroll for hours on my phone

Always think something is wrong

I know I know

Circle back to the beginning

I had to capture essence of the pity that I live in

Perfectly pathetic while I'm crippled by decisions

My message is my muse because I'm in it

I'm using up my time to reinvent it

It's funny how a little a bit of luck can help you finish

Yeah I get it