Don't Feed the Unicorn Beans

There’s one rule I always keep—

Don’t give beans to a unicorn... ever, not even cheap.

You think they’re magic, calm and sweet?

But give ‘em beans and they can’t be beat.

Don’t feed the unicorn beans!

Unless you want glittery scenes—

Exploding rainbows in your jeans,

And clouds that smell like jellybeans!

I gave one just a tiny bite,

And it blasted off like a comet in flight.

It tooted stars across the sky,

And sneezed a castle upside high!

So if you see that sparkly tail,

Hide your chili, run, and bail!

Don’t feed the unicorn beans!

Unless you like sonic routines—

Rainbows honk and pudding screams,

And cupcakes roll in laser beams!

It burped a comet, sneezed a frog,

Sneakers flew into the fog!

The moon turned green, the cows all mooed—

And Grandma’s slippers just kung-fu’d!

So if you meet one, fair and bright,

With shiny hooves and eyes of light,

Just smile nice and keep it clean…

But seriously—NO. MORE. BEANS!