Dude, having a phone is so easy

They just call you and message you to this thing

I mean, sure, you have to give your number first so they can do that but

You know, it's so simple

I wish it was that simple

Like I could just say "hey, I'm here" and then people could just come and find me

I realised that I find that very hard

To just tell people "hey, I'm here"

'cuz, I don't know, I think, I think I'm always just waiting for them to leave

To find the next good thing and just walk away

You know, I figured out that when, uhm, as a kid, I just —

I felt abandoned, my parents weren't really there

— though it wasn't always like that

So this shift just felt like i was dropped

And i got used to it

I got used to relying on myself 'cuz —

I mean, it worked, you know

I survived

I'm fine

Or at least

— I think I'm fine

But, man

It's just so lonely

— I don't like being lonely

I'm trying to be there, you know

I'm trying to, like, hang out with people and

Talk to them and asked them to go out and do things together but

— people are busy — and I don't hear from them

— and then I think they just forget

— and it just feels like it's not worth the effort

So —

I should get a fucking phone