Why am I worried about affiliations

Honestly it should be reconciliations

I don't know

Hmm

I feel the energy building inside of me

Say it once and don't think twice about modesty

Pick apart the pattern

Imagine it till it crosses me

Spazzing with this passion

Till I have them gasping audibly

Life is highway and somehow we hit a roadblock

Don't know 'bout you but I've been through a whole lot

I've buried some demons in the past where most rot

I've been praying lord forgive me for I know not

What I do, I've been tryna work this out still

We all have highs and lows

Lately it's been downhill

But bad times make you appreciate good times

Searching for happiness and it's something that I now feel

Forgiveness is a different kind of pill to swallow

Seeing the same things differently is a problem

When things are going sideways

You say their horizontal

Let's get this straight

I was the one who was being thoughtful

Who's the one who stuck by you through all your worst moments

Now you abandoned by everyone and it hurts don't it

But pain is a blessing is disguise

Not a curse growing

And every days a new lesson and some are worth knowing

I said hurtful things hoping I could heal from it

To get it off my conscious while making some real assumptions

One day I'll pay the price and I know that the bills coming

Nowadays it's hard to be positive but I still wonder What would happen if I chose a different path

What if I never left California in the past

What if I never studied Recovery front to back

And never discovered rap

It's hard to juggle that, yeah

This has to be more than just a coincidence

Why? I survived and thrived, in many instances

Incidents that I get to relive with these sentiments

Sitting with writers block, with a pen hoping it clicks again

My mother listens to my music

She don't like the cursing

My apologies

I never claimed that I was perfect

I went back and recorded songs in cleaner versions

Not that I mind, in time I'll see if it was worth it

I'm a product of my surroundings, clear as day

I've been searching for a sign or a signal to reobtain

Respect, as we progress, I think It's time to clean the slate

Sorry that I can't always say what you wanna hear me say

I'm not a mind reader

I'm more or less a sightseer

I've been steady climbing and rhyming at my leisure

The truth hurts when it hits harder and strikes deeper

Watch me catch fire, I'm burning up like a high fever

I do this for the people who listen and give me praise

It's not as easy as it looks

But I got some efficient ways

Beef isn't always pretty

I've left rappers in disarray

They don't get the image

They're stuck as if they just skipped a frame

Holding grudges in arguments

Things that we debated

No one comes out a winner

It's hard to mediate it

Pride makes us focus more on appreciation

And more separation instead of reconciliation