album cover
Showstoppers
265
Comedy
Showstoppers was released on January 15, 2013 by Comedy Central Records, under exclusive license to 800 Pound Gorilla Records as a part of the album Caligula
album cover
Release DateJanuary 15, 2013
LabelComedy Central Records, under exclusive license to 800 Pound Gorilla Records
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
Anthony Jeselnik
Anthony Jeselnik
Spoken Word
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Anthony Jeselnik
Anthony Jeselnik
Songwriter
PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING
Anthony Jeselnik
Anthony Jeselnik
Producer

Lyrics

Three more
I'm not a religious person
I would call myself an atheist
I don't have a good story behind it, I'm just reasonable
My girlfriend, my girlfriend, has got the greatest story behind why she's not religious anymore
So when she was a kid, like 12 years old
Her parents nailed a 25-pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed
And about two weeks later, in the middle of the night
The crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two-inch gash in the back of her dad's head
Like whether you laughed or not, you have to fucking admit that's a fucking great story
Now one thing drives me crazy about my girlfriend now is that she's got like a million shoes
Like a million shoes, and she doesn't even like to wear them
I swear, she just likes stealing from the holocaust museum
Now that joke you're either laughing or you've simply never been to the holocaust museum
You gotta believes me it's like Nike factory in there
But if you haven't been, you should go, it's important
Now people who fly a lot the way that I do
People who fly all the time, they all say the same thing to me
They say, "Anthony, there is nothing worse than a baby on an airplane
Nothing worse than a baby on an airplane"
I disagree
I can give you guys four examples of when having a baby on an airplane was awesome
Although they were all on 9-11
Written by: Anthony Jeselnik
instagramSharePathic_arrow_out􀆄 copy􀐅􀋲

Loading...