album cover
Signs
album cover
Signs was released on July 7, 2009 by Comedy Central Records, under exclusive license to 800 Pound Gorilla Records as a part of the album Thin Pig
July 7, 2009
LabelComedy Central Records, under exclusive license to 800 Pound Gorilla Records
LanguageEnglish
BPM147
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy

Music Video

Music Video

Lyrics

Do you ever see a sign and you think, "That's... that... that's
Unnecessary"? You read a sign and you go, "What? What? Who needs to
Read that sign? Who's gonna do that?" I have a theory. If a sign says
Not to do something, somebody did it. That's just the way it is
Right? Not just one person, a lot of people. They don't... if you're
Thinking, "Well, what?" Yeah, they don't just open up establishments
And go, "Hey, let's guess some shit people are gonna do." No. If the
Sign says not to do it, somebody did it. So now when you see signs
You will appreciate them in a different way. The next time... I'll give
You an example. Right after I came to this sort of theory, I saw a
Sign at the pool and it said, "No diving in the jacuzzi." Somebody
Dove into the jacuzzi. "Hey, watch Daddy dive into the jacuzzi, kids
Everything's good." I saw a sign at the gas station. It said, "Must
Put nozzle back on pump when through." And you know my theory. Even
Now as I'm talking about it, I wanna go, "Who's gonna do..." No
I remember my... "Must put pump back on nozzle when through." That
Means somebody loaded up with gas, "Alright, 25 bucks." "Uh, sir
You have to put the nozzle back on the pump. You gotta put the nozzle
Back on the pump, sir." "Oh, I wasn't sure. My wife said I should."
I don't like when they yell at you over the PA at a gas station. It's
Really embarrassing. Maybe I'm too insecure. Have you ever had that
Where you can't get it and then they start, "Pump four, lift your
Nozzle up. Pump four. Pump four, the guy with the big fat sweaty
Head." You wouldn't go to a restaurant if they yelled at you
Would you go to a restaurant if they had a guy sitting in a booth
Going, "Table four, use a salad fork, you gross pigs"? That's
Unnecessary. This is sort of the same theory as if you see a sign
Somebody did it. I was at the airport going through the... I'm sure
A lot of airports have this, but I was going through the Philadelphia
Airport. There's a glass case, and in that glass case are things
You're not allowed to bring on the plane, right? I get like a
Scissors or tweezers or something like that, I sort of guess. In the
Glass case, and I'm not making this up, a chainsaw. Somebody brought
A chainsaw on the airplane by my theory. Somebody said, "Excuse me
Sir." "What?" "Sir, you're not allowed to bring a chainsaw on the
Airplane." "I wasn't sure. My wife said I should, but... she's not
Right all the time." And you know that guy's not somewhere now going
"Boy, did I do a dumb thing. I tried to bring a chainsaw on an
Airplane. I was stupid." No, he's somewhere going
"Hey, don't fly Delta. It's totally bullshit. They
Won't even let you bring a chainsaw on the plane. It's
Totally bull... who's gonna fly them?" Are you serious?
Written by: Todd Glass
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