Gutting open my stomach

Letting all the bad blood flow out me

Holding open glass doors

Watching you makes it harder to breathe

And part of me hopes I'll be here forever, past the pain and before it all begins

I dreamt of being a fish- but I might as well be finless

What boils down to eternity, head, shoulders, nails and inches

Now I lie

Why'd I have to give up the only good thing I could find?

Nightmares where I rip off my mask

Show you my face, you cringe slightly

Dreams where you knew my name

Said it often and called it by me

Yet part of me knows my dreams turn to reality and my nightmares are knockin' loud

Daddy said get thicker skin but I might as well be skinless

A pile of bones, a ticket to death row and a bright pink bow that pinches

Rats invade and mice just hide between the cracks of what we decide to justify

Bow your head just like you see me do

Whisper to him softly

And part of me knows my decisions matter and it's possible that I've thought far too ahead

My apartment's doors might as well be hingeless

And I want a reason to close them again- or open just a few inches

The terror, eye-bags, sweaty hands, and a torn tank top that cinches

A leash, a staff, a bow, a sword and a bright pink bow that pinches

How do you think you would justify if you'd

Given up the only good thing in your life