See, I'm reliving in the moment

But I'm writing it in past tense

I read the same book, still expecting a different end

Turning through the pages, the chapters, the phases

The ink dried up, it's too late to make amends

PHASE 1

This is June 2014, on that faithful night

Thinking back without the air out of my wind pipe

Remember how you used to wake me

Exchanged the last words with a kiss

Before you erased me

Which only became clear when you didn't come home

When later that day police came knocking at the door

Telling how you went astray

With companions took the train

Far across the borders to where war was at play

You swore allegiance to ISIS

Far from the nicest

To call my life a mess wasn't wrong in the slightest

You try not to break when you see your parents cry

They knew damn well their oldest son had a chance to die

 

I held the family together

And back then, my young age didn't matter

I was only 16 when dad came for advice

I had to grow up fast, man I couldn't think twice

PRECHORUS

My mind was a warzone

Did anything I could to escape the blast zone

Shit

But the bombs kept dropping

There was no stopping

I tried to build a dam

But the tears kept coming

CHORUS

Phases, lost conversations

Ten years later, I'm still looking for the words to say this

But I'm running out of patience

Trying to heal the wounds that you left in the chasing

These phases, lost conversations

Ten years later, I'm still looking for the words to say this

But I'm running out of patience

Yeah I'm running out of patience

A picture speaks a 1000 words

But seeing you with a rifle left me speechless

Now I see you trifle in my dreams

Psychoanalyse the thoughts I've been suppressing

Is this is what I need to stay in touch with my feels

I still remember newspapers feeding of your corpse

Feeding anger to the masses who was lighting up a torch

Spreading nothing but hate

Turning any comment section of into a debate

Whether our parents made the right choice

To adopt black boys from a distant country

Things that you don't see

Felt lonely

And heard nothing but noise

Had to cancel all the frequencies it reached by raising my voice

The situations got tense

As if things couldn't get worse

I was losing all my 'friends'

They dropped me on the spot when I was suffering the most

Only to apologize when you became a ghost

Phases, lost conversations

Ten years later, I'm still looking for the words to say this

But I'm running out of patience

Trying to heal the wounds that you left in the chasing

These phases, lost conversations

Ten years later, I'm still looking for the words to say this

But I'm running out of patience

Yeah I'm running out of patience

(Running out of patience, too late to make amends)

(Running out of patience, too late to make amends)

(Running out of patience, too late to make amends)

(Running out of patience)

Some claim that we talk, but in reality don't know me

When's the last time we had a true and heartfelt conversation in which I admitted I felt lonely

Not a joint memory and still I am your homie

You have no idea how I used to count the hours

In the darkest of days by myself without power

Was able to flourish despite gloom

So trust me if I say a flower blooms in a dark room

How could you leave me

You were the only thing from home

How could you leave me

Knowing I'd be struggling alone

How could you leave me

Tried to deceive me

Forced me into therapy

Ever since you never came home

How could you leave me

You were the only thing from home

How could you leave me

Knowing I'd be struggling alone

Cause if you left

Why would anyone stay

Got attachment issues

That never went away

Phases, lost conversations

Ten years later, I'm still looking for the words to say this

But I'm running out of patience

Trying to heal the wounds that you left in the chasing

These phases, lost conversations

Ten years later, I'm still looking for the words to say this

But I'm running out of patience

Yeah I'm running out of patience

(Running out of patience, too late to make amends)

(Running out of patience, too late to make amends)

(Running out of patience, too late to make amends)

(Running out of patience, too late to make amends)