It had been a couple of years since that breakthrough in the coffee shop. Now, here I was back home again after Larry’s botched proposal, reflecting on the men and experiences that had led me to Larry. I had met him at that school concert. He was kind, supportive and easy going! Our relationship felt so normal that my frenetic dating life prior to meeting him almost seemed like a crazy dream. I had learned and grown so much through that time. . . plus I had to admit that it WAS exciting and fun, despite the painful moments.

Now I could see that Larry was not my future, instead he was the conclusion to a difficult chapter of my life. He had offered me a safe and gentle oasis and had helped me find confidence in my ability to function normally in a relationship.

Despite the evening’s unexpected break-up, I felt more inspired than broken hearted. On the ride home from the restaurant my kids admitted that they were a little relieved “Mum, Larry’s too NICE for you!” my daughter proclaimed. “The three of us have a good thing going” we agreed. I realized that at my age and stage, now that my children were young adults, my needs had changed. If there was to be a man in my future, he would be quite different than anyone I had ever dated.

“Oh My God, I think I actually WANT to be alone!” I laughed out loud. “How completely ironic!”

I took a deep breath and let out a huge sigh and headed up to bed. I took out my journal and wrote a list of all of the things I wanted to do with my life. This time, however, these were not hobbies, they were life long goals.

And ‘finding a man’ was not on the list.