Woke up to World War III, trending again Guess it's news before news, tell your mom and your friends

Got a draft notice while I was taking a shit Wiped my ass with it and posted that pic

Missiles flying, countries trying, I just shrug Threw on some Crocs and poured a double in my mug

Government's begging me to die for the flag I told them I got anxiety and I'm in the drag

It's WWFUCKING3, but we posting memes Photoshopping Biden, sniffing Putin in jeans

When the bombs drop, I'll be jerking in a bunker Live streaming up with a geyser counter

WWFUCKING3, but we laughing still TikTok dancing through a goddamn kill

Can't drag me, I'm too gay, too broke, too busy eating ass and blowing smoke

My girl said we should flee, I said nah, let's boom Might die tomorrow, let me hit it on drone

She said you're sick, I said yeah, I'm fucking terminals Now ride this dick like it's an army vehicle

L-O-M-R-E's and PTSD L-O-L, I'm posting memes with zero empathy

Thoughts and prayers as the children scream Filter that shit with a Hello Kitty theme

WWFUCKING3, but we making jokes Running from death in my Pikachu cloak

If I get drafted, I'm fucking the sergeant Calling it reclaiming power at large

WWFUCKING3, and I'm off my meds Teabagging corpses with my shitpost threads

They said war is hell, I said bet now Watch me go viral on the way I get wet

Fuck your borders, fuck your guns Fuck your cars, fuck your squad

Fuck your lies, fuck your flags Fuck your nukes, suck my saggy American bags

It's WWFUCKING3, but I came instead Blew a load on my bunker bed

Scrolling Twitter while the earth decays LMAO, just another Tuesday

It's WWFUCKING3, and we're all fucked But hey, at least I finally sucked

That hot neighbor before the sky turned black We all died, maiming with a finger up our crack

Ashes to ashes, nukes to dust We didn't fight, we just shitposted

And busted one last nut

Hashtag never farted to me

Hashtag never farted to me