Coochie Barber
560
Hip-Hop/Rap
Coochie Barber was released on November 28, 2025 by hssndusqooq records as a part of the album Coochie Barber - Single
Music Video
Music Video
Credits
PERFORMING ARTISTS
Alexander Martin Schor
Vocals
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Alexander Martin Schor
Songwriter
PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING
Purple
Producer
Lyrics
{Intro]
Yeah, Alex Schor
I'm the Coochie Barber, she got faded on her period
She was red headed, call me Ed the way I'm Sheeran it
She's talking about payin' me? I ain't even hearin' it
This is like an art, baby, I just really love my craft
She said, "Alex, pull your pants down, let me suck your ass"
Jew boy, and I was just reminded of my past
Shorty like my ancestors, probably off the gas
Bob is in in Florida, it's a Miami Vice
I just met a girl at Club Live, and she stayed the night
I thought put a rubber on and I'm like, "yeah, that's probably right"
But I don't listen to idiots, so I don't take my own advice
I don't write my songs, I get my lyrics from my comment section
All of these bars, I could go hard for days like a long erection
She called me a perv and started poppin' off like Smith & Wesson
I just said something normal to her with a wrong complexion
I just wet the bed, that's how I woke up in a flow state
Different personalities behind this mask, Ghost Face
Rapping like ejaculating, never at a slow pace
I spent 10 minutes in the studio, give me a prorate
When I trim the cooter, I get between the flaps, sayin'
If it's really hairy, I might cut it with an axe, fam
Told her, "take off your socks, and use my face to tap dance"
Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop, I'm the Scatman
I'm the, wait, hold on
I'm the Coochie Barber, she got faded on her period
She was red headed, call me Ed the way I'm Sheeran it
She's talking about payin' me? I ain't even hearin' it
This is like an art, baby, I just really love my craft
She said, "Alex, pull your pants down, let me suck your ass"
Jew boy, and I was just reminded of my past
Shorty like my ancestors, probably off the gas
Knocked on a bathroom stall to see if someone's dumping
This guy didn't say it's occupied; he told me come in
Songs that I am making don't equate to songs I am bumping
I stay listening to Taylor Swift and Smashing Pumpkins
When it comes to smashing pumpkins, I ain't talking about the band
I just needed something fresh; I got tired of using my hand
Man, I swear that I'll go broke before I start an OnlyFans
But we're talking about this month, I spent over 17 grand
Switched up on my day once
I'm ashamed of where I came from
I'mma beat up all my old friends, but I won't assault the gay one
Yup, cuz I'm an activist
Hate the patriarchy, pull down my pants and smack my dick
Shorty bad as hell, bald head, I call her Humpty Dumpty
I'mma crack an egg tonight, but I don't have the munchies
Hand went up her shirt, at that moment I felt something lumpy
It was breast cancer
Shoutout breast cancer survivors, like, for real
I'm the Coochie Barber, she got faded on her period
She was red headed, call me Ed the way I'm Sheeran it
She's talking about payin' me? I ain't even hearin' it
This is like an art, baby, I just really love my craft
She said, "Alex, pull your pants down, let me suck your ass"
Jew boy, and I was just reminded of my past
Shorty like my ancestors, probably off the gas
I am accepting appointments through email, DM, post mail, a carrier pigeon
Ladies, hit me up if you need a fresh fade
Written by: Alexander Martin Schor
