Living is one of the most terrifying things for me

To hear the ones I love and care about say things like

How happy I make them and how they see all these positive things within me

Because I feel it's within human nature to hurt one another

No matter how hard you try not to

And I know, no matter what, I'll always end up hurting someone

Because no one is just like you

They all hurt people just by thinking you're failing in a different way than them

And I know that doesn't make you a bad person but I don't ever wanna imagine hurting the people I care about just by being myself

So it makes me think maybe I should just push you all away and cut all ties and admire from afar

But you say that I'll just hurt worse

And to be honest, I couldn't push you away even if I try

So I'm sorry if one day I'm not good enough

I have something to say, I pushed it back in my mind for so long, always biting my tongue

Always running away, constantly, forever, like a pendulum swinging

And I don't know who swung me this way but I hate this

This feeling of emptiness, I could be just like you

But I'd rather die than live a long life without meaning

Was I born to fail in life?

Or was I just born to try?

Don't try to tell me what to believe when you believe in the things that make you so weak

Because even when I open my eyes, everything's black, everything's empty

To the world, put this chip on my shoulder that I chose to let myself 'cause of the way that I see things

I don't know, I don't care because it doesn't matter

At the end of the day, as much as I hate to admit it

I just wanna smile, I just want love