album cover
Abducted
527
Comedy
Abducted was released on July 26, 2005 by Comedy Central Records, under exclusive license to 800 Pound Gorilla Records as a part of the album Retaliation
album cover
Release DateJuly 26, 2005
LabelComedy Central Records, under exclusive license to 800 Pound Gorilla Records
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy

Music Video

Music Video

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
Dane Cook
Dane Cook
Spoken Word
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Dane Cook
Dane Cook
Songwriter
PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING
Dane Cook
Dane Cook
Producer

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
One thing that I've always wanted to do ever since I was little
I've always wanted to be abducted by a UFO
Yeah, sometimes I just go hang out in the woods
I'm just waiting for that blue light
That's how they suck you up, by a beam of light
They suck you up by your chest, and that's not necessary
Through a rope ladder down, I'll climb up
I'm interested, I'm here for you
Don't suck me up by my chest, that hurts
You're a hovering craft
Why wouldn't I come in and poke around for a minute?
[Verse 2]
It would be great to be abducted, what did you guys do this weekend?
Dude, we got hammered, it was awesome
Oh, yeah? I was abducted
I was zipping around the galaxy
[Verse 3]
Sometimes when I think about if UFO's come down
I get a little concerned because then I thought of this scenario
This would be the ultimate, full circle, slap in the face of the United States
What if this happens because, look, we're the greatest country on earth
But we get a little cocky from time to time
If we don't like the way you're country is doing, it's business
We'll kick the door in
[Verse 4]
Hey, hey, knock it off, you're bugging the world, cut it out
And if you don't listen to us, then we'll throw all kinds of weapons
And crazy shit at you
Which we always apologize about using twenty or thirty years later
Listen, we're really sorry about that
We were a little drunk at the time
And we got a little rambunctious
The bomb, we didn't know it was gonna do that
We thought it was a contained blast
And we didn't know it would make everything blow into smithereens
And you were being kind of a bitch
Country, country, you were being kind of a bitch
Are we cool now?
Do you mind if we leave like three, four thousand troops
And maybe some supplies here?
You don't mind that, do ya? Do ya mind?
You wouldn't want us to get drunk again, would ya?
High five us, photo op
[Verse 5]
We get a little, we get a little cocky
What if this happens, oh, my God, what if this
What if the mothership comes over middle America
And we're all sitting, watching TV
All the news crews are focused in and were sitting there watching, right?
What if when the hatches finally open, out of the UFO's
Come thousands of one hundred foot Native American Indians
[Verse 6]
We're gonna be watching like, fuck, those are huge Indians
Please tell me they're not giant Indians
God dammit, they're huge Indians
Alright, good game, America, we had some fun, huh?
Hi, giant Indians
We did some shit, and, uh
[Verse 7]
Could you show us how to make giant corn?
Written by: Dane Cook
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