why I exist - Esotera: Song Lyrics, Music Videos & Concerts

why I exist

Alternative

why I exist was released on January 13, 2026 by Esotera as a part of the album hey, i died again.

Song Details

Albumhey, i died again.

Release DateJanuary 13, 2026

LabelEsotera

LanguageEnglish

Melodicness

Acousticness

Valence

Danceability

Energy

BPM160

OVERVIEW

LYRICS

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS

Esotera

Performer

COMPOSITION & LYRICS

Rowan Perodin

Lyrics

PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING

Rowan Perodin

Producer

Lyrics

I’m way too dark for the white shows,

But I sing too slow for the black shows

Body not shaped like a bottle

But I’m still too much for them to swallow oh oh oh oh

My skin carries the weight they never can

My spine, it bends but never for a man

I guess it’s how it’s always been

I guess it’s why I exist

Let em judge, let em talk, draw em in

Let em stare, let them wonder where you been

Let em copy off each other, let them blend

They gon all have to learn in the end

Light em up, shut it down, then go do it again

Let them whisper in the dark, let em spin

Keep it real, be yourself, don’t pretend

They gon all have to learn in the end

They gon’ all have to learn in the end

They gon’ all have to learn why I exist

25 years of tears on my pillow

Spent about 20 of them staring out the window

I spent way too many years doing what other people want, I am done

Now I’m listening to my heart for once

Now I’m set free chains undone

My mind carries what they don’t understand

My hands, they hold what never had a chance

I guess it’s how it’s always been

I guess it’s why I exist

Let em judge, let em talk, draw em in

Let em stare, let them wonder where you been

Let em copy off each other, let them blend

They gon all have to learn in the end

Light em up, shut it down, then go do it again

Let them whisper in the dark, let em spin

Keep it real, be yourself, don’t pretend

They gon all have to learn in the end

They gon’ all have to learn in the end

They gon’ all have to learn why I exist

Let em judge, let em talk, draw em in

Let em stare, let them wonder where you been

Let em copy off each other, let them blend

They gon all have to learn in the end

Light em up, shut it down, then go do it again

Let them whisper in the dark, let em spin

Keep it real, be yourself, don’t pretend

They gon all have to learn in the end

They gon’ all have to learn in the end

They gon’ all have to learn why I exist

Written by: Rowan Perodin

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