Trapdoor - Lyrics

Trapdoor in my mothers room

Lead to the plants beneath the house

That my father grew

The wooden dresser sat on it but wasn’t hard to move

Best place for hide and seek ain’t no one finding me

Trying understand how religion work

When patches at my christening it’s got me thinking which is worse

Ā gangsta or a believer

I’m tryin not to judge but That’s probably an indication why I am not either

I’m closer to bottom or rung see it in my attitude

Besides looks I inherently have my father’s attributes

According to my wife she say that to wind me up

I’m like if that’s the case how come my mother had to provide for us

And that ………………………………………………….

To make worst he did all that stuff in front of us

My wife be like calm down I was joking I know what’s up

That shit had to happen for you to become the person you are.

I realise that trauma remain present

my armour is strained and stretching

I gotta refrain from stressing, complaining

and change direction when I’m heading towards the brink of a dangerous lesson

Huh breath in and exhale etc

And so my temper gets revealed

The trigger is being still it keeps me from being healed I thought ā paradigm shifted within me it

felt surreal, till I was sleeping with paralysis demon had want me killed or to kill.....my older bro

behind steel, I don’t mean a gat

I mean them bars that you hold till the law and society determines that you aint ā threat. So

what’s life I’ll ask him when I see him next.

The chances of the reaper stepping to me and completing death?

Who knows, he holds his cards deep beneath his chest

The complexity of him achieving that (death) has me perplexed

Cos on a regular I awake, and my sheets are full of sweat

(breathing for one bar)

to see no face, just a silhouette

Standin in the hall then vanishes like a cigarette

an angel in distress or a demon on a quest

im still breathing, the beat between my pecs,

palpitations, anxiety rising, PTSD

I be S.E.L.F diagnosing these symptoms, something is clearly there

But I stay above this ground, so with that being said

I am very blessed.

Karakia Whakamutunga (Closing Karakia)

Unuhia, unuhia

Unuhia te urutapu nui

Kia wātea, kia mama,

Te ngākau, te tinana, te wairua i te ara takatā

Koia rā e Rongo, whakairia ake ki runga

Kia wātea, kia wātea

Ae rā, kia wātea!