I didn't think I'd make it to this track honestly

But here we are

Engine still running

I reread my own lyrics last night like a medical file

Patient history of a man learning to stand in rooms without scanning for exits

Bored Call me was angry and loud

Read Receipt me was clever about his pain

2AM me was floating

Condemned me was finally honest

This version of me is just tired of performing the wound

I want to talk about the stitches for once

I called my pops last Tuesday

Said nothing important on purpose

Just asked about the weather

And for the first time the silence between us

Didn't feel like a grave

It felt like a bench

Two men sitting with nothing to prove

I'm still here

Not fixed not broken not the lesson not the warning

Just here

With my stupid posture and my heavy name

And the version of me that survived every version before him

I'm still here

That's not a victory speech

It's just a fact I finally believe

My therapist got a new therapist I hope she's well

I cook eggs now without burning them most days

Small shit but small shit is the stitching

That holds the big shit together

I let a woman see me cry last month and she didn't leave

She just handed me water

Not a lesson not a speech just water

And I thought oh

This is what it's supposed to feel like

Not a cathedral not a crime scene

Just a glass of water when you need it

I drove past our gas station from Track 1

Pump 4

Didn't feel nothing

That's not cold that's healed

When the place that used to gut you

Just becomes a place again

That's the whole thing

That's recovery without the Instagram caption

I'm still here

Not fixed not broken not the poem not the punchline

Just here

With my father's hands doing gentler things

And a chest that don't feel like a condemned building no more

Maybe a renovation

Permits pending

But the lights work

I'm still here

And I'm not leaving this time

I know this isn't the song you wanted

No 808 drop no scream no clever bar about trauma

Just a man standing in his own living room

For the first time not as a guest

The furniture is mine

The silence is mine

Even the dust is mine

And I'm not apologizing for any of it

Call me when you're bored

I'll actually pick up this time

Left me on read

Nah I left myself on read and I'm finally opening it

2AM nowhere

I'm somewhere now

Condemned

Under renovation

Still here

Still here

Still