This book of Elements has been staring at me ever since I moved into my house

But I'm trying to cut back

I wish I could put duct tape over my humongous mouth

But I used it all to pack

So forgive me if I say something I never meant to say to you

I hate who I am under the influence of plants I abuse

I try, the smoke is getting into my eyes

I'll say another little white lie but you see the embers glowing through the fog

I try, you see the color change in my eyes

I'll say another little white lie but you can see right through it all

So forgive me if I say something I never meant to say to you

I hate who I am under the influence of plants I abuse

My finger tips turn gray and black from smut on the lighters I use

Either I'm calm or I can talk, I hate that I can't pick and choose

Everything sounds worse when I take a deep breath

Don't let me hit it first, don't let me, don't let me

I hate the smell of the embers

Floating outside of my window

Close it, it's making my head hurt