that time you ground your face down in the road and pushed back up to here the sirens

that time that on the bus we synchronized our minds and both broke up the silence

that time you pulled up his memorial and clinched a fist for all he'd taken

not knowing when he stopped his own that other hearts would have to do the breaking

that time it was for each of us when we found out that you'd been sent away

and wondering just how young were they?

that time that maybe never came to put up childish things and grow up like the moon

that time that she would sit and watch her boy just watching his cartoons

                                                              what were you?

before

          the mirror

                 turned you on, and

                                                you

  in it

turned

              off?

 that time that you were always all underbelly and probably born that way

soft and simple sort of sweet and mostly out of reach these days

long before the underbellied urge had sent you surging in the dark

breaking up your own computer trying to make it so you wouldn't come apart

that time you'd always tell me play your song you'd say the one that starts out slow

but the time you're doing now is tougher than most any chord or rhyme I know

that time you turned away and towards and back and forth it's a dizzy way to pray

how long you keep on breaking, bad luck keep on taking the good lord mostly takes away

                                                         from

                                                                                      you

 that's a dark.

                      star

                      you drew

                     and, hey,

what's blame

 anyway?

 that time we drove all night and Sunday morning popped into a filling church

met the strangers that we'd left as babies somewhere in the lurch

slept from tiredness and boredom, slept to work those aching knots

slept like sorry sinners woke at intermission blinked and shuffled off

that time that as a kid you cut yourself and never felt the same

that time that she walked out on you again and again and again and again

that time that you broke down and all your parents knew to do was Burger King

are they lifting fingers now? how much can two old people take?

                                                                                      for Christ's sake,

 pull

your shit together,

               Jay