You would be a lot happier if I were blonde

Everybody's thinking it and everybody's saying it too

Just give me my money, my time, my new salon

Two cents and confidence, I'll get it ready for you

My neighbor Gus can do it for pretty cheap

He used to do bad, bad, bad drugs but now he's gotten clean

My mama's gonna be so proud of me

Then I'm gonna pop off

Like a wild one

Waving bye-bye, Norma Jean

Turn the light on

I can't sleep 'til my hair's all bleached

Now all I need to keep me clean's peroxide and false lashes

And a house in Calabasas

Whatever gets me there the fastest

Like a wild one

You would be a lot sluttier if you were blonde

You'll kiss somebody and they're gonna get mad at you

Sticking out like a sore thumb at the bar

If I bit the bullet, I'll take the shots

Everybody's gonna ask how much it cost

(Not much when I got the hook up)

My neighbor Gus can do it for pretty cheap

He used to do bad, bad, bad drugs but now he's gotten clean

My mama's gonna be so proud of me

Then I'm gonna pop off

Like a wild one

Waving bye-bye, Norma Jean

Turn the light on

I can't sleep 'til my hair's all bleached

Now all I need to keep me clean's peroxide and false lashes

And a house in Calabasas

Whatever gets me there the fastest

Like a wild one

I know it won't be embarrassing for too much longer

If I am someone new

Who's having more fun

Waving bye-bye, Norma Jean

Turn the light on

I can't sleep 'til my hair's all bleached

Now all I need to keep me clean's peroxide and false lashes

And a house in Calabasas

Whatever gets me there the fastest

Like a wild one

Like a wild one

Waving bye-bye, Norma Jean

Ooh, give me my house in Calabasas

Whatever gets me there the fastest

Like a wild one

(She's coming around the corner, with the blondest hair you've ever seen in your life)