Estelle

I was painting a still life this morning Of a throat lozenge sitting on a copy Of Tropic of Cancer The only thing weird about it Is that a year ago, I never thought I'd paint anything again I decided I wasn't ever gonna paint again It didn't bother me too much Warhol's dead, David Hockney's still alive I don't need to paint I painted over ten thousand paintings Sad ones, funny ones, dark ones, and light ones I've done haystacks And rich old ladies by their pools Wearing nothing but a scarf I've painted everything there was to paint Now it was time to sit back Give interviews Hang out at club med Get on the internet Take stock of what I've done You know, the best friend I ever had was a dog It sounds like a cliche unless it's happened to you Some days that dog was the only reason I even got out of bed That dog went everywhere with me And then I heard the crack addicts Were stealin' dogs and selling them for animal research It sounded like an urban myth to me Like the mouse in the Coke bottle But I started leavin' her at home after that You know, Paula was my wife for a while She ran off to Paris with the great grandson of Van Gogh A cartoonist who did fashion graphics for Le Monde When Paula left she took my dog I never saw her again Except in the court during the custody battle She won and got to keep the dog And I didn't speak to anyone for months You know sometimes it feels Like there's so much that you need Sometimes the world is upside down Sometimes it feels Like the only thing you need Is holdin' someone's hand as you walk through town I started hanging around with Dino He used to run a poker game back east Now he sells cappuccino to his old pals Tommy Chicago and Jimmy the Wig and Ugly Rose You know the best person I ever knew Was a Mormon woman named Estelle She still calls me drunk every few months And asks me stuff I don't want to talk about You can't talk to her very long unless you're drunk yourself Then we go all night She says, "Why baby, why baby, why baby, why Have you turned your back on love? You had so many chances Why have you let 'em all go by?" Well, one morning I was sitting in front of Dino's place With Jake the Shears, a guy from Philly Who gives free mohawks There were a couple of young painters I was hopin' to come by So I could give 'em some advice Yeah, I was sittin' there updating my list of enemies When this girl walks in And the universe kind of stops Turned out she drank the same tea as me It don't take more than that to start a conversation sometimes She believed collage was the greatest of all the arts And was busy pasting pictures of horses Next to ads for laundry soap Next to Mohammed Ali She had a turquoise in her ear And said Rachmaninoff was always in her head Later that day I was trying to describe her to Jimmy the Wig I couldn't find any words And I realized I'd started to sketch her chin Somehow it didn't look right I scratched it out and tried it again I filled an entire pad I threw it away, I never even came close For six days I sat at Dino's place The rain wouldn't quit and no one came in Finally on the seventh day it cleared And in she walked I asked her to sit with me And ibought her a cup of tea And I asked her to model for me sometime That afternoon I was at a canvas She was wearing a yellow dress I swore if she let me, I'd get it right I've painted over ten thousand paintings Sad ones, funny ones, dark ones, and light ones But sitting there, it was like I couldn't even Write my own name I apologized and said, "It's been a few months If you have patience, I'll get the hang of it again" In the next few weeks, I painted her hundreds of times If I get the nose right, the chin's too long If I get 'em both right, the face is too thin But I keep after it and one day I get it all right I painted a still life this morning Of a throat lozenge Sitting on a copy of Tropic of Cancer The only weird thing about it Is I never thought I'd paint anything again I think I might go visit Estelle Those Utah mountains are good for the soul I'll bring my brushes And some Jack Daniels And we can make up for lost time She said, "Why baby, why baby, why baby why? Have you turned your back on love You had so many chances Why do you let 'em all go by? Why baby, why baby, why baby why? Have you turned your back on love You had so many chances Why do you let 'em all go by?" Sometimes it seems like there's so much that you need Sometimes the world is upside down Sometimes it seems like the only thing you need Is holdin' someone's hand as you walk through town