Popular - (Wicked)

Whenever I see someone Less fortunate than I (And let's face it - Who isn't Less fortunate than I?) My tender heart tends to start to bleed And when someone needs a makeover I simply have to take over I know, I know exactly What they need And even in your case Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face Don't worry - I'm determined to succeed Follow my lead And yes, indeed You will be Popular You're gonna be popular! I'll teach you the proper ploys when you talk to boys Little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh! I'll show you what shoes to wear How to fix your hair Everything that really counts To be popular! I'll help you be popular! You'll hang with the right cohorts You'll be good at sports Know the slang you've got to know So let's start 'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go: Don't be offended by my frank analysis Think of it as personality dialysis Now that I've chosen to become a pal, a Sister and adviser There's nobody wiser Not when it comes to popular - I know about popular! And with an assist from me To be who you'll be Instead of dreary who-you-were—well are! There's nothing that can stop you From becoming popular - lar La la, la la We're gonna make You pop-u-lar! When I see depressing creatures With unprepossessing features I remind them on their own behalf To think of Celebrated heads of state or Specially great communicators Did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh! They were popular! Please - It's all about popular! It's not about aptitude It's the way you're viewed So it's very shrewd to be Very very popular Like me!