King of Suede

There's a sale on our gabardine suits today They're all thirty percent off from yesterday There's Fortrel polyester, leather, wool, and tweed Just a Visa or Mastercard is all you need We got every color, we got ev'ry shade We're located next door to Willy's Fun Arcade We got every fabric that was ever made But I'm known in this city as the King of Suede We got portly and regular and extra-long (Is my size up there?) We got tailors to fix it if it comes out wrong (Is my size up there?) We got all kinds of sweatshirts, you can take your pick (Is my size up there?) With the collars ripped off, like in that Flashdance flick (Is my size up there?) Our prices are low, my staff is underpaid You can buy off the rack or have it custom-made And it's all guaranteed to never shrink or fade 'Cause of my reputation as the King of Suede If you need a tuxedo for your junior prom (Is my size up there?) We can get you the best one that's made in Taiwan (Is my size up there?) We got jackets with patches on the elbows, too (Is my size up there?) And we'll sell 'em all factory-direct to you (Is my size up there?) Well, I never made it past the second grade It took all of my life for me to learn this trade But my friends are all thinking that I've got it made 'Cause I'm known the world over as the King of Suede There's a two-for-one sale on our three-piece suits Check out our suede pajamas and our suede-covered boots You can try on our suede underwear if you choose Do what you want, but don't step on my blue suede shoes King of Suede Don't miss out on our giant liquidation sale (Is my size up there?) Look for our color catalog in next week's mail (Is my size up there?) There's a sale on our double-knit slacks today It's the same old sale as yesterday Thirty years in the same location I have stayed There I am, right next door to Willy's Fun Arcade I got tough competition, but I'm not afraid 'Cause it's my destiny to be the King of Suede King of Suede King of Suede King of Suede I'll always be King of Suede I'll always be King of Suede