Music Video
Top Songs By Monty Python
Credits
PERFORMING ARTISTS
Monty Python
Performer
Graham Chapman
Performer
Douglas Adams
Performer
John Cleese
Performer
Connie Booth
Performer
John Young
Performer
Terry Gilliam
Performer
Bee Duffell
Performer
Eric Idle
Performer
Terry Jones
Performer
Michael Palin
Performer
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Graham Chapman
Lyrics
John Cleese
Composer
Terry Gilliam
Composer
Eric Idle
Composer
Terry Jones
Lyrics
Michael Palin
Lyrics
PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING
Monty Python
Producer
Andre Jacquemin
Producer
Dave Howman
Producer
Lyrics
- We have found a witch. May we burn her?
- Burn her!
- How do you know she is a witch?
- She looks like one.
- Bring her forward.
- I am not a witch.
- But you are dressed as one.
- They dressed me up like this.
- We didn't!
- And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.
- Well?
- Well, we did do the nose.
- The nose?
- And the hat. But she is a witch.
- Burn her!
- Did you dress her up like this?
- No.
- Yes.
- Yes, a bit. She has got a wart.
- What makes you think she is a witch?
- Well, she turned me into a newt.
- A newt?
- I got better.
- Burn her anyway.
- Burn her!
- Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
- Are there? What are they? Tell us.
- Tell me, what do you do with witches?
- Burn them!
- What do you burn apart from witches?
- More witches!
- Wood.
- So, why do witches burn?
- 'Cause they're made of wood?
- Good!
- So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
- Build a bridge out of her.
- Can you not also make bridges of stone?
- Oh, yeah.
- Does wood sink in water?
- No.
- It floats.
- Throw her into the pond!
- What also floats in water?
- Bread.
- Apples.
- Very small rocks.
- Cider.
- Cherries.
- Gravy.
- Mud.
- Churches.
- Lead.
- A duck!
- Exactly.
So, logically...
- If she weighs the same as a duck...
She's made of wood.
- And, therefore...
- A witch!
- A witch!
Writer(s): Eric Idle, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones
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