Jeanette's Showbiz Number

This gig's an echo of that time with Buddy Greco When we did the Desert Inn in '59 The dancing girls were clunky The drummer was a junkie But we pulled the act together And we killed 'em every time That having been said, frankly I think that things are worse here That guy and his head are gonna need Some kind of nurse here It's like a friggin' curse here Things could be better - So sue me, it's the truth Things could be better 'round here It's an attitude problem Seen it a million times I was subbing with Stan Kenton In this seedy club in Trenton When I heard my third divorce Had just gone through I coulda torn my heart out But instead I got my chart out And I gave 'em all a lesson In the way to play the blues That having been said Something is even more morose here Just looking ahead's making me feel Real gross here We aren't even close here Things could be better Could they get any worse? I don't think so Things could be better 'round here It's like a putz museum A showbiz mausoleum Things could be better 'round here There's a problem with the timing There's a problem with the groove There's an overwhelming lethargy Nothing can improve You can sense defeat get closer Every time they add a move There's only six days Where am I? Don't worry, I'll get it Who are you? This guy needs a helmet That guy needs some lipo And I could use some Geritol delivered in a hypo But I don't wanna gripe - Oh - Things could be better You bet your ass they could Things could be better 'round here Now let me just tell you something I've played for hoofers who can't hoof I've played for tone-deaf singers And once, when I insulted Frank I played with broken fingers I've paid my dues I know the blues - Of this I can assure you So now I'll say it one last time 'Cause I don't want to bore you I've got some bad news for you Things could be better Things could be better They really could be better Let's face it, we suck We're deep down in the ditch, man This showbiz is a bitch, man Things could be better We could be better Things could be better 'round - You know what Kate Smith used to say about a bad rehearsal? Usually means a bad performance Here!