The Day My Pad Went Mad

I'm ankle deep in human waste The toilet has been clogged Marrowbone jelly all over the place I don't even have a dog The man upstairs he grabs my arm Saying don't I know your dad All I could hear were the fire alarms The day my pad went mad All I could hear were the fire alarms The day my pad went mad The kitchen has been ransacked Ski trails in the hall A chicken has been dhansaked And thrown against the wall In walks this dumb waiter With a fountain pen and pad Saying how do you want this alligator The day my pad went mad Saying how do you want this alligator The day my pad went mad The hamster had been slaugtered The parrot bound and gagged The guard dog had been sorted out And absolutely shagged The goldfish drowned, the cat was found Kicked around and stabbed The radio did not make a sound The day my pad went mad The radio did not make a sound The day my pad went mad The pop-up toaster refused to pop The chandelier was smashed The starter motor would not stop The tyres had been slashed There was no way out of there I was stuck with what I had Out of order, beyond repair The day my pad went mad Out of order, beyond repair The day my pad went mad Yesterday I had the place rewired And slung out all of my junk A tumble dryer and a two bar fire And a telephone now defunct I peeped through the venetian blinds And the rain fell down so sad On the broken home I left behind The day my pad went mad On the broken home I left behind The day my pad went mad