When I got to the party, they gave me a forty
And I must have been thirsty
'Cause I drank it so quickly
When I got to the bedroom
There was somebody waiting
And it isn't my fault that the barbarian raped me
When I went to get tested
I brought along my best friend Melissa Mahoney
Who had once been molested
And she knew how to get there
She knew all the nurses
They were all very friendly
But the test came out positive
I've seen better days, but I don't care
Oh, I just sent a letter in the mail
When I got my abortion, I brought along my boyfriend
We got there an hour before the appointment
And outside the building were all these annoying
Fundamentalist christians
We tried to ignore them
I've had better days, but I don't care
Oasis got my letter in the mail
When vacation was over
The word was all over that I was a crackwhore
Melissa had told them
And so now we're not talking, except we have tickets
To see Blur in October, and I think we're still going
I've seen better days, but I don't care
Oh, I just got a letter in the mail
Oasis sent a photograph
It's autographed and everything
Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear
