Mind of My Own

It's four o' clock The TV's on My mind is shut off and my own thoughts are gone I change the channel I change my mind I change my life I want to leave it all behind 'Cause I don't have a mind of my own I am influenced by everything I see And I can't help it now Everything in my life just thinks for me Can't help this habit I'm in love with my disease Worshiping my idle time a life I cannot seize Trapped by depression and I sleep all day But Zanax, Valium, Attavan makes it all ok! It's so much more than a cry for attention No loving hands can soothe this ache So much more than a war with the world It's my own degradation it's my own self hate I preach my pessimism Right out loud to anyone who'll listen I'm not afraid to be alive I'm afraid to be alone! Late at night my monsters find me From under the bed or right out of my past All alone with nobody to talk to Sanity gets put to the test I close my eyes but I'm still haunted Sometimes I get too twisted to sleep As all my world crumbles all around me Inspirations become admissions of defeat 'Cause I don't have a mind of my own I don't have a mind of my own I don't have a mind of my own Everything in my life just thinks for me