Oh you've just come back from th'ASDAs with that new Westlife CD

Deirdre just be careful turning it to MP3

You've ripped it to the hard drive, don't be tempted just be strong

'Cause Deirdre, don't file-share that song

Well there's Soulseek, Limewire and Kazaa for swapping music files

But they're all illegal programs right across the British Isles

Love don't use peer-to-peer software, it's plainly very wrong

Oh Deirdre, don't file-share that song

U2 they need some royalties if they want to survive

Downloading dodgy MP3s could wipe your whole hard drive

ITunes it's all a gyp tha' knows, sign up it won't take long

Oh Deirdre, don't file-share that song

Well swapping people's music is something we should prevent

But Deirdre's found a new program, she calls it BitTorrent

She's downloading films and games and shows at absolutely zero cost

Oh Deirdre, [speaking] uh, could you download us the new season of Lost?

And the new Coldplay album, that's meant be good, have a look for that will ya?

Have a look for that Grand Theft Auto, uh, wiggy edition, see if you can find us that there

And if you could find that, um, video of Anthea Turner where she gets blown up in' face