I've come to the conclusion that life is one let down after another

It seems that getting out of this world is that I have to look forward to anymore

When I was 15 I got pregnant from a guy who said he loved me

He quickly found out, he dumped me for my sister

I couldn't tell my parents, so I tried to give myself an abortion with a coat hanger

The good news is that it succeeded

The bad news is that I can never have children and I am deformed so badly I can never have sex again

From the age of 5 to 13 my father and my uncle sodomized me

I was in a car accident, killing my mom and causing me to lose the use of my left arm from a large piece of wood that impaled me from one of the fences we ran into

No one will never take me seriously because they will never be able to look past my scars

I'd try and again and kill myself but I have a few felony charges that are floating around my miserable life

I'm on probation right now and all I want to do is O.D. and die

I came from a fucked up family

Got railroaded for child support from some bitch

Been paying for 14 years now

I never see the kid

I lost $25,000 dollars in the stock market this year

I was diagnosed with a brain tumour early this year

It was removed and the operation was successful

We lost our house and I lost all my possessions to the pawn shop

It took me 2 years of working to degradingly as door to door salesmen to get all that stuff

Four weeks ago today I was 31 weeks pregnant

My husband and I were happy and couldn't wait until our daughter was born

Two days later her heart stopped and the day after that I had to deliver her dead

I had her in me for 24 hours before I was able to deliver

I kept wishing that she would cry while the nurses at the hospital cleaned her so my husband and I could see her

She never cried

Her cord was what killed her

It got tightly wrapped around her body while she was rolling around in me

Now, almost four weeks later, my husband and I sit in our empty and quiet house

Haunted by our daughters beautiful sleeping face and wondering what we do now

When I was seven I was in a house fire that resulted in 80% burns and no life

I can't go a day without punching myself

It is the only thing I get pleasure from

So I end up with bruises and I cry myself to sleep because the only thing I enjoy is painful

I tried to kill myself once, but then I stopped because my mom threw a beer bottle at me

You want to know what real depression is

Not merely being suicidal but regretting that I didn't kill myself 30 years ago