Anyone for Tinnies

It's the time Last orders chime Closing time Toll the bell Don't panic, last order hell Before I go I feel my mouth begin to foam It's not too late To get some things, seal my fate I need to quench my raging thirst There's plenty more cash in my purse I say bartender, re-open the bar straight away I believe a lock-in is order of the day Anyone for lock-ins I don't see why landlords got the huff Lock-ins are great, I was perfectly chuffed I don't see why landlords got the huff Lock-ins are great, I was perfectly chuffed Why is bewielding about the one of the baseball variety This puts pay to my plan The twist to my sobriety Well, that did nothing for my nerves What a terrible fright I'll go to find a liquor store In the dead of the night Anyone for tinnies There's ducks in my mouth An alcoholic drought My nerves are in tatters Inebriation is all that matters What is the problem with the world All I want is to have a drink Pour that brew right down my neck I don't ask much, I don't think So off we go, back to my place Open my fridge and peer within On comes the light, look round the lettuce My fridge is full, it's tinnies heaven