album cover
Cowhand.Com
116
Country
Cowhand.Com was released on October 17, 2011 by Old Boots Music as a part of the album The Best Of, Vol. 1
album cover
Release DateOctober 17, 2011
LabelOld Boots Music
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM196

Credits

Lyrics

Well I hires on to this brand new ranch
It was owned by a bunch of fancy pants
But they did have several high dollar trucks and trailers
Well there was barns and pens, it was under construction
And I was informed by phone I'd receive my instruction
In a video arriving in a padded mailer
It said "Sort the cows in pen eleven
Then bring us the tags so we can scan 'em"
I didn't have a clue, but I took a sack full of 'em to headquarters
There was a lady at a computer typing in numbers
The more she typed, the more I felt dumber
And she said, "Yep, 501's too old, gotta go back and sort her"
I replied
I ain't no cowhand at cowhand.com
I don't know where I just landed
Scroll me back to where I'm from
'Cause I don't need no printout telling me
That it's time to wean
Never seen a calf pulled by a machine
And this information highway
Keeps my pony sore and lean
I ain't no cowhand at cowhand.com
Well my security pass, slash photo ID
Opened the gate and picked out a horse for me
And you punch in a code and it start an automatic feeder
Of course you still had to step over what them cows was downloading
And you did a hair analysis with a digital modem
And put a cow up on a screen
It'd tell you which bull's gonna breed her
Well then they give me this laptop from my saddlebags
And it got dusty out riding drag
And I knew the boss was gonna have my hide
Well they said, "Just boot it up, open the windows"
Something about a mouse and a bunch of menus
So I hauled off and kicked it
I kept the windows closed 'cause it was freezing outside
I ain't no cowhand at cowhand.com
I don't know where I just landed
Scroll me back to where I'm from
'Cause I don't need no printout telling me
Which stall to clean
Never seen a horse shod by a machine
And this information highway
Keeps my pony sore and lean
I ain't no cowhand at cowhand.com
Well then they start talking downsizing and linking up
I told them I was heading for the tall and the uncut
They could stick that Pentium right in their AOL
They was faxing emails and hazing the web
And they even had a megabyte RAM, that sounds inbred
I reckon those people wouldn't know the difference
'Tween a hard drive and a paper trail
I ain't no cowhand at cowhand.com
Don't need no information highway
To get back to where I'm from
And I don't need no printout telling me
Which colt is green
Never seen a bronc broke by a machine
Besides, this little cell phone
Just don't fit good in my jeans
I ain't no cowhand at cowhand.com
I ain't no http
All one word, all little letters
Www. cowhand.com
Yep, that's what you get
When you try to cross one of them computers with a cowboy
Written by: Dan Roberts
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