Jan Egeland

Gray hair, glasses

Suitcase

Humble, clever

And constantly working for peace

Uganda, Congo

And the Oslo treaty plan

Oh my God, what a plan

Not as famous as Gahr Stare

Not a daddy's boy like Jens

But when hand-grenades are flying

There's just one man you can trust

When there's war and all is hell

Send in Jan Egeland

The United Nations superhero man

Mad dictator with a gun

Send in Jan Egeland

Oh, how I wish

I was Jan Egeland

Blue eyes, firm hands

Nice legs

Clean shaved body

Drinkin' his protein shakes

Spray tan, skin cream

And buttocks like he was eighteen

He's a peacekeeping machine

And he stares into the mirror

Flexing muscles in the night

And he says, "Boy, I think you're ready

To protect some human rights"

When there's war and all is hell

Bring in Jan Egeland

The United Nations superhero man

He plays golf with Kofi Annan

And looks at maps with George Cloon

Oh how I wish

That I was Jan Egeland

Egeland (Egeland)

Egeland (Egeland)

When he's sad, he goes to funerals

In unusually heavy rain

Large amounts of water in his face

But that doesn't hide his pain

He breaks down just like a homo

And starts crying like a girl

But I guess you can cry and still be a man

If your day job is saving the world

When there's war and all is hell

Send in Jan Egeland

He's a macho, muscle-pumping, crying god

If there's one man you should trust

It is the Janny boy

Oh, how I wish

That I was Jan Egeland