Top Songs By Loni Ackerman
Credits
PERFORMING ARTISTS
Loni Ackerman
Vocals
David Shire
Piano
Robert Preston
Piano
Richard Davis
Bass
John Loehrke
Bass
Hank Jaramillo
Percussion
Gene Bertoncini
Guitar
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
David Shire
Composer
Richard Maltby Jr.
Lyrics
Lyrics
I am sitting here doing the Sunday Times crossword puzzle
Somehow the words won't come
I am staring at squares but my eyes never focus
And my mind's feeling strangely numb
What's a five letter word meaning—
Here's an example, Two Down
"A Peruvian poison dart"
Why, when Hecky and me
Used to breeze through the puzzle, on Sundays
The answers would leap in my—
"Hartebeest"
That's a gnu
G-N-U
Boo-boop-y-doo
Where is Hecky now? Ha!
He ran off with some floozy
On a boat bound for warmer climes
And he left me here doing the crossword puzzle
In the Sunday—
All the times we had fun here
When more often than not
He'd say, "Hon, what's a pustule?"
And I'd say, "It's a blot"
He'd say, "Afghani nomad"
And I'd say, "It's a Kurd"
I'd let him hold the pencil
He could write in the word
And when he was having trouble spelling "tryst"
T-R-Y-S-T
I showed him, how I showed him
Twenty-Three Across: "Lover, archaic"
Amorist!
A-M-O-R-I-S-T, blank!
I am sitting here doing the Sunday Times crossword puzzle
Somehow the words won't come
Can you figure it, me with my splendid vocabulary?
Maybe I should play dumb
What's a four letter word meaning—
Why should it happen to us?
There was never a moment's doubt
All at once Hecky's jumping and screaming and yelling
I tell you, the four letter words that came—
"Out, prefix", that means pro
P-R-O
Bo-dee-oh-do
Starts you feeling as if having brains or intelligence
Was one of the world's worst crimes
And the sentence is doing the crossword puzzle
In the Sunday—
All the times Hecky'd tell me
"You shut up, this I'll get
Seven blanks meaning airhole
It's fistula, I bet"
I'd say, "No"
He'd say, "Don't tell me"
"It's tubulus"
"Tu-bu-li"
I'd say, "Hecky, it's chimney"
Hecky'd sit down and cry
Perhaps that's why I'm left here on the shelf
Perhaps he wanted to get the long ones by himself
Thirty-eight Across: ""She carries a torch"
Statue of Liberty
S-T-A-T-U-E-O-F-L-I-B-E-R T-Y
Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why?
I am sitting here doing the Sunday Times crossword
And I know why the words won't come
'Cause my mind is miles off on a boat to Bermuda
With some ignorant lousy crumb
What's a five letter word meaning—
Phi Beta Kappa, that's me
I'm as bright as a girl can be
So bright someone else who could not tell a fig from a frigate
Is off with my Hecky at—
"Seabird"
That's an auk
A-U-K
Awk!
If I weren't so dumb I'd be spending this Sunday
In a church hearing wedding chimes
And I'd never remember there was a puzzle
In the Sunday Times
Written by: David Shire, Richard Maltby Jr.