Only My Winnings

How can I make it How can I do this How can I rate it It will never be enough Don't seem to stop it Never grown out of it Never wear it out Never shake it off Paralysation So puzzeled about it And no one seems to be who They claimed at first hello So dissapointed 'Though it all pointed A recommendation Of letting it all go So I built a little house for my self In a new country where no one could see All my mistakes and all my troubles Only my winnings could reach through the door Everythings floating I don't seem to cope with This fucked up behavious What have I become I don't wanna mention Don't wanna name it I just wanna sleep now Don't wanna make a fuzz Without paying the hour I become my own councelor I see all the patterns An ancient spell But no solution I got no solution Instead I just push it Push it 'til I fall So I drilled a little hole in my chest To put off the pressure Steaming from within All my mistakes and all my troubles Only my winnings would reach through the skin So I drilled a little hole in my head To let out some demons That keeps feeding on my brain All my mistakes and all my troubles Only my winnings would reach through my mouth