I'm Jon Boy Jon

I'm simple like a possum

I'm John Boy John

My girlfriend thinks I'm awesome

We met at our family reunion

I saw her there by Grandma Claire

I loved her in an instant

And I know I'm plumb out of my head

We are first cousins and the gene pool ain't too deep

And I know our kids'll be inbreed

But I'm in love, and I'm losing sleep

I remember the first time I met 'Lizbeth Daisy Blossom.

My heart went skitter-patter!

And I knew she was the only one for me.

And if I could, I would marry her in a big ol' celebration down at the Super Wal-Mart down at the county line.

But I know it's wrong

And I don't wanna have none of those freakish, webbed-toe blue smurf babies

But, I just can't help it... I just... Well, I... I just...

I love her

But since our moms are sisters

We won't wed

I'll never be her Mister

It's not fair

Our union can't be legal

We'll never date or consummate

'Cause lovin her is wrong... ish

I love her

She loves me

But we're cousins

I'm pathetic Jon Boy Jon