Big Bed - Pete Correale: Song Lyrics, Music Videos & Concerts

Big Bed

On Tour

Comedy

Big Bed was released on May 22, 2026 by BSeenMedia as a part of the album Let's Hang

Song Details

AlbumLet's Hang

Release DateMay 22, 2026

LabelBSeenMedia

LanguageEnglish

Melodicness

Acousticness

Valence

Danceability

Energy

BPM171

OVERVIEW

LYRICS

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS

Pete Correale

Spoken Word

COMPOSITION & LYRICS

Pete Correale

Songwriter

PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING

Jason Riggs

Producer

Lyrics

But I'll never not sleep with my wife

Even dealing with these hot flashes

I'm one of those guys, I'm like, "I'll

Never not sleep in the same bed as my wife"

But what I don't point out is my bed

Is half the size of a football field

I gotta roll over five times just to say goodnight

"Goodnight, baby"

I'm gonna go back to my zip code over here

By the time I get back to my side, it's dawn

I could do a full Jesus pose and I wouldn't even be touching my wife

That's how far away I am

If she died in the middle of the night

I wouldn't know 'til 6:45 in the morning

Same bed though, same bed

'Cause I have buddies now doing that

Their kids went off to college, two of my buddies

They're like, "I took the kids' room

I love my wife, but I'm sleeping like a log, man

You gotta do separate rooms when you can"

I'll never do that

I worry too much about the heart situation, right?

I need someone right next to me when I sleep, man

Just in case in the middle of the night

I'm like, "Make a call! Make a call!"

Because you know, man, you sleep alone

What do we always hear when someone dies alone though?

Like, in sleep, and like, "At least they died in their sleep

At least they died in their sleep"

We act like it's so pleasant

'Cause we're not there, how do you know it's pleasant?

You're not there

We always assume when you die in your sleep it's kinda just like

And that's it, right?

How do you know it's not, "Help me! Anybody! Does anybody love me?"

Thank you

Woo, alright

I'm just saying

It's big business trying to cool these ladies down

Big business

First my wife started with the fan

Then it was a special pillow for five hundred dollars

It's supposed to cool you down

It was a cinder block wrapped in terrycloth

My wife's like, "You don't sweat when you sleep"

I go, "'Cause you don't sleep! Your head's on a brick"

Then the latest was, she shows me this commercial

She goes, "I wanna show you something"

Shows me a commercial for this machine

That goes to the foot of your bed

And these tubes run underneath the sheet

And you pump water through these

Tubes at whatever temperature you want

All night long, giving you a full body cool

Down for nine hundred and ninety-nine dollars

And any married guy knows, forget the money, right?

Right away I'm looking at my wife going, "Don't worry about the money

You gotta get it, baby

You're suffering, you're suffering

Don't worry about the money"

But in my head, all I'm thinking is, "Oh man, we could save

Thousands of dollars if she would just sleep on the porch"

Listen, we'll put a little chicken wire

Around it so the squirrels don't get at her

We'll make it nice

It's the temperature she's looking for

It dawned on me though when we were watching that commercial

It's sad, it was sad, it was sad

'Cause I reached a certain age in my life where I'm watching

Let's just call it what it is

I'm watching commercials for elderly people

'Cause that's one of the few things

That always keeps you young, right?

Is when a commercial would come on for old people

You love to blow it off, right?

"That's for old people, that has nothing to do with me"

You can tell when it's a commercial for old people right away, right?

Like some guy's feeding a duck

This has nothing to do

The only way you would even notice a commercial for old people

Is when somebody you used to admire is now old

And they're doing an old person commercial

You ever have that?

I remember the first time I saw Eric Roberts

I know some of you young people might not know

Julia Roberts' older brother

Great actor, Eric Roberts

He was doing a commercial for walk-in, sit-down bathtubs

Oh God

I remember yelling at the screen

I'm like, "Get out of the tub, Eric! Jesus Christ!

You were in The Pope of Greenwich Village! Get out!"

You know?

But it's amazing, then you get older and

Different things appeal to you, right?

I don't know, five, six years later, I see that same commercial

I caught myself leaning in like, "Tell me more about this tub, Eric

How does the water not come out when you open the door?"

This lady up front goes, "Right?"

It's unbelievable, it's like a magic trick, lady, right?

Same thing with that chair that you attach to the

Staircase railing that takes you up to the second floor

We've all seen that commercial

When you're younger, you're like, "Nah, it's gonna be

So sad when you're talking about needing that thing"

Now I'm at the age that commercial comes

On, I'm like, "Does that come in black?"

Sometimes my wife and I don't wanna watch the same movie

I'll get in that chair, saddle in, "See you after the movie"

Oh, thank you

Then I'll put a bowl on it, send it back down

"Put some popcorn in there, baby, send it back up"

It's a dumb way to

Written by: Pete Correale

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