album cover
Grape Jelly
R&B/Soul
Grape Jelly was released on May 28, 2026 by The Monastery as a part of the album Poisoned Fruit
album cover
Release DateMay 28, 2026
LabelThe Monastery
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM96

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
Johnny Merk
Johnny Merk
Background Vocals
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
John Holmes
John Holmes
Songwriter
PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING
Johnny Merk
Johnny Merk
Producer

Lyrics

This is sponsored by
Welch's, Smuckers, and chubby motherfuckers
But I love ya
I know a BBW
Fat chin, like Majin Buu
Kill fish to, Shih Tzu
Top-heavy, in big boots
Hard times
No bread, to buy crystals
93' Beamer
Smoking from, transmission
Too late
Not enough, to save engine
Sixteenth worth of antifreeze
In the, coolant system
Her car died
And her house, little distance
It's January, so you know it's super frigid
No lie, she the meanest on the block
Every girl, got beef with her
Don't share weed with her
Can't keep men, don't nobody sleep with her
Even stray animals, don't wanna eat with her
But in her car, had the biscuit with the grape jelly
In a crisis, killed the pastry like five seconds
And I ain't talking bout the silver blicky for protection
I'm talking bout them flaky, soft rolls for the breakfast
That grape jelly, let it shake, shake
She got heavy magnitude, let it Earthquake
If it's Welch's or Smuckers
Let it shake, shake
She got heavy magnitude, let it earthquake
Strip clubs, make it shake, shake
Night clubs, catch a earthquake
Strip clubs, make it shake, shake
Night clubs, catch a earthquake
I came to body up, the beat
Ain't no X and O
Keep the, cartel big
Like Mexico
This that
Tommy Buns, Sincere, Belly flow
Somebody save me!
Pockets, like Jelly Roll
Any, strip club
Asses keep shaking
Foreseeing, broke poles
Final Destination
Winos, broken men
Drunk, dissipated
Still, make it rain
Like, cold precipitation
And I don't do the fat shaming
I like a little chubbiness
See your face bubbling
Sneak and eat
Half my cheesesteak, on the comforter
I ain't even mad
The old Johnny, woulda rumbled ya
Out of love, she would wear my sneakers
Her energy, fierce like, Queen Latifah
For a cold household, don't need no heaters
Using thighs, and her breast
Survives the cold season
That grape jelly, let it shake, shake
She got heavy magnitude, let it Earthquake
If it's Welch's or Smuckers
Let it shake, shake
She got heavy magnitude, let it earthquake
Strip clubs, make it shake, shake
Night clubs, catch a earthquake
Strip clubs, make it shake, shake
Night clubs, catch a earthquake
Written by: John Holmes
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