album cover
Cabinet Interview
album cover
Cabinet Interview was released on June 9, 2026 by 4evin as a part of the album The Dumbest Timeline
June 9, 2026
Label4evin
LanguageEnglish
BPM92
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy

Music Video

Music Video

Lyrics

Alright, let's see what we got here
Okay, okay, oh my, you're hired!
Wait, no, I have to do the whole thing
Procedure, you know
Let's go from the top
Welcome to the interview, come take a seat
Sign away your soul and all your dignity
No experience in government, no conscience is preferred
Just a podcast, money, and loyalty to his word
Secretary of whatever, just sign on the line
If your conscience starts talking, just keep it inside
Come on, lose your morals, sell out, let's go
Welcome to the cabinet, let's put on a show
Okay, section one, let's check experience
You come highly recommended, can't wait to hear this
First job listed, Fox News commentator
Blamed every single problem on an immigrant instigator
Didn't have any proof, just yelled on cue
You had good ratings, honestly, that'll do
Next line, it reads "reality TV producer"
That's a strong indicator of a government future
You exploited drama and got rich off of lies
That's cabinet material, the way I see it in my eyes
Filmed at a resort, numbers through the roof
Left the network for white-collar crime? Bold move
You really wrote that? I respect the display
Honesty like that gets you fast-tracked these days
No experience at all, that's just what we need
In the future White House cabinet secretary
Welcome to the interview, come take a seat
Sign away your soul and all your dignity
No experience in government, no conscience is preferred
Just a podcast, money, and loyalty to his word
Secretary of whatever, just sign on the line
If your conscience starts talking, just keep it inside
Come on, lose your morals, sell out, let's go
Welcome to the cabinet, let's put on a show
Section two, finances, now we gettin' to gold
Net worth says billionaire (Okay, I'm sold)
"Self-made" in the headline, I love that you're rich
Fine print says you just inherited your dad's business
Labor practices? Yeah, that's my favorite part
Underpaid every worker 'cause you played it smart
Outsourced everything, kept conditions discreet
Then you fought every invoice so nobody eats
Seventeen settlements, all out of court
Union busted four times, call it strong support
One still ongoing, but you'll handle it soon
Lawyer said, "Don't discuss it, we love litigation too"
Inspectors said conditions were very much concerning
You spun it as efficiency while your workers were hurting
Evidence shredded, nothing left to inspect
Give me one second (Yeah, you might be the best)
Welcome to the interview, come take a seat
Sign away your soul and all your dignity
No experience in government, no conscience is preferred
Just a podcast, money, and loyalty to his word
Secretary of whatever, just sign on the line
If your conscience starts talking, just keep it inside
Come on, lose your morals, sell out, let's go
Welcome to the cabinet, let's put on a show
Section three, your values, gotta say it's elite
Checked every single box like you studied the sheet
Racism, sexism, didn't skip a line
Wrote "Oh yeah" by Caucasian, underlined it three times
Classism checked with a yacht photo attached
Is that a pool on the yacht right there in the back?
White supremacism boldly checked in ink
Had to read it twice 'cause I love how you think
DEI and liberal both crossed out
I can see you next to the president right now
Next page says perjuries a worthwhile risk
It even says you'll destroy the Epstein list
Says you're open to all corruption from the day you start
And all you need later is a presidential pardon
Just know if you ever tell the truth at any time
We'll just charge you with a bunch of made-up fake crimes
Welcome to the interview, come take a seat
Sign away your soul and all your dignity
No experience in government, no conscience is preferred
Just a podcast, money, and loyalty to his word
Secretary of whatever, just sign on the line
If your conscience starts talking, just keep it inside
Come on, lose your morals, sell out, let's go
Welcome to the cabinet, let's put on a show
So no need for a background check
We don't do those anymore
When can you start?
Be sure to wear your flag pin
Written by: Devin Williams
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