album cover
Reptile Guy
148
On Tour
Rock
Reptile Guy was released on August 28, 2026 by Bonktown Records as a part of the album Go to the Woods
album cover
Release DateAugust 28, 2026
LabelBonktown Records
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM89

Music Video

Music Video

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
Wolves of Glendale
Wolves of Glendale
Performer
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Eric Julian Jackowitz
Eric Julian Jackowitz
Composer
Ethan Edenburg
Ethan Edenburg
Composer
Thomas Christopher McGovern
Thomas Christopher McGovern
Composer

Lyrics

You knew me in high school
Since then, I've changed a bunch
I'm a manager at Citi Bank
And I eat caesar salad for lunch
I hit the gym three days a week
I volunteer on the weekends
(at a clothing drive)
But in a way, I'm the same old me
'Cause my bedroom is filled with
Lizards and turtles and a baby crocodile
Some people like cats, some people like dogs
I'm a reptile guy
Maybe you like birds, maybe you like fish
I'm a reptile guy
Aw, yeah, aw, yeah
They're my friends, my best friends
I love my friends, my only friends
I sleep with a snake
Say what you want about me, I'm proud to be
A reptile guy
I have a gecko named Peter
I talk to him about love
(I'm afraid of girls)
I have a turtle named Shellton John
And I also talk to him about love
I have a crush on Melissa from work
I doubt she even knows my name
(My name is George)
There's no point in making a move
'Cause my freezer is filled with
Mice that I feed to my python, Randy
Some dudes are tall, some dudes like cars
I'm a reptile guy
Some men like golf, some men like gambling
I'm a reptile
Aw, yeah, aw, yeah
I want someone, someone to love
Someone to hold, someone to hug
Someone who likes snakes
I'll never date Melissa, who would wanna kiss a
Loser reptile guy
Here I am in my happy place, reptile convention
A woman holding a rattlesnake catches my attention
Holy shit, it's Melissa from work
We lock eyes and she says
Some people like cats, some people like dogs
I'm a reptile girl
I can't believe you're a weirdo like me
I'm a reptile girl
I ask her out, she says yes
The date goes great, I meet her pets
She sleeps with a snake
Months go by, she moves in
Years go by, we have three kids
They all get a snake
Then one day, my youngest kid
He goes to school, and he gets hit
By a bully named Jake
I train my snakes to seek revenge
And find Jake's house and bind his leg
Don't fuck with my kids
I've built a fuckin' kingdom
Melissa and my three sons
Geckos and iguanas
Seven anacondas
And most recently
A spider, just to mix it up
Written by: Eric Julian Jackowitz, Ethan Edenburg, Thomas Christopher McGovern
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