I been destroying my health

I can’t climb out of the well

These past memories I dwell

And it’s got me holding back

My truth cost family ties

Didn’t ask opinion or advice

Only tried to confide and they tried to hold me back

I can’t shake it the looks of ashamed faces

All the hesitation and attempting to change the status

It’s too much to try reflect upon I push it aside

Sometimes I feel others emotions are more important than mine

And so I’m back on track distract from that I feel torn up inside

Smoking up everything I have so that I can centre my mind

I wonder will I move past it even though I do forgive

My memory won’t let me forget I’m worried as long as I live

And yes I must admit I do feel bitter inside but if you look from where I’m sitting I’m a little justified

I felt like I had no one in my corner trying to celebrate

But they don’t understand what making that confession takes

That’s just reality to me

You think they could ever let me be?

I put my soul on the line and they just spat it out

Everybody i ahd looked up to threw me into doubt

And i had taken so much time listening to inner guides

The way i was being preached to woulda thought i was a little child

No agency, no food for thought, or thought for self or trust in thou

Sit the child down once again, now where’s the one you wanted now

The idea died long ago, can’t believe you’re catching up

Guess its time to run away the pain’s too strong, catch my dust

I would be sorry but some of these statements had no basis

Like how things would have been worse if we lived in the 1980s

Its the present day, own up to your present wrongs

Now i gotta watch your feelings now i released this song

That’s just reality to me

You think they could ever let me be?

I’m coming apart at the seams

I wonder if they’ll let me breathe

That’s my reality

Reality