Do

The

Lobby

Congressman, this is my boss

Lisa Bushmaster, President of the National Rifle Association

Congressman Thurman, you look sweatier in person

I need your help in this upcoming election

My opponent is a monster

Bribery! Embezzlement! Sexual affairs!

He's got proof I did all those things!

You're in good hands with Ron

He's the NRA's top lobbyist

Politics is more than just polls and numbers, Congressman

It's a dance

We can pay for ads and rumors

'Til no one knows what's true

Heard your opponent is a pervert

I think I heard that too

He is?

Oh right, you can just lie!

Slide into my inner circle

Shuffle to the beat

You won't get picked out of the party

If you move your feet

Everybody do the lobby

Clap your hands

Make it rain

When they're upset

Point to the left

Shrug your shoulders

Pass the blame

Picture old conservatives

Twerking their old bodies

They rule the world

With a tap and twirl

Now they're doing the lobby

And now Congressman, we could use your help

The damn Democrats are forming a committee to try and repeal the Second Amendment

You want me to bribe 'em?

Maybe a sexual affair

Oh- Uh, here's our plan

You'll surprise the press by joining the committee

Pretend to reach across the aisle

But once you're inside, you'll stall the bill forever

You wanna keep your seat, don't you?

The NRA can help you get re-elected, or your opponent

No wait, I love this job!

We get healthcare and amazing social services

Being a Republican is great!

Everybody do the lobby

Now you're in your element

Big campaigns, financial gains

Private planes

Embezzlement

Step to the right

Step to the right

Step to the right

Then step to the right

Sashay to the right

Pas de bourrée to the right

Now you're doing the lobby

Lobby

Lobby

Lobby

Now you're doing the, doing the, doing the

Lobby

Lobby

Lobby

Now you're doing the lobby

Silas Cooper

I heard your sound bite on the news

Well it's true!

You NRA lobbyists twist our laws and manipulate-

Yeah, yeah, yeah, save it for the screen

We may not agree, but I think you and I can work together

I can tell you're a free thinker

We just want you to free think for us

I don't wanna work for you

But aren't you tired of your social media protests?

They never get anything done

You need to take things into your own hands

And we will give you the platform

Let's get you on television

Late night talk show, morning news

You could be a free speech icon

Who says the things we tell you to

You could lead a revolution

That stays inside the lines

Flip the switch and you'll be rich

All you gotta do is lie

You could be the next Tucker Carlson, or Joe Rogan, or some woman probably

I know what you government man do

You spend millions to brainwash people

You put fluoride in the water

I do yoga every day, bro

Your mind rays aren't gonna work on me!

Woah, that's a lot of conspiracies for network television

You want a podcast?

I'll never work for you

Next time I see you, you're dead

How'd it go Ron?

You convince him to come to our side?

No luck, boss

You can't convince crazy

I'm sure he's nothing to worry about

With Congressman Thurman on the committee, all this talk of repealing the Second Amendment will fade away

I guess we did it

You did it, Ron

Once again

We won

All it takes is a couple meetings

To put us back on top

There's no progressive platform

That you and I can't stop

They say that we're immoral

For doing what we do

But with that chance they would do that dance

They'd be lobbyists too

Be lobbyists too

Everybody do the lobby

Clap your hands

Make it rain

When they're upset

Point to the left

Shrug your shoulders

Pass the blame

You wanna work in politics

You gotta shake your body

Rule the world

With a tap and twirl

And do

The

Lobby