album cover
Thirty Seconds
album cover
Thirty Seconds was released on October 9, 2026 by Last Orders Records as a part of the album Thirty Seconds - Single
October 9, 2026
LabelLast Orders Records
LanguageEnglish
BPM148
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy

Music Video

Music Video

Lyrics

Right. Thirty seconds
I'll be quick about it, so
He had me bent across the worktop with me knickers round one ankle
Two fingers in and working like he's hunting for a light switch
Then he's in me, and he's going, and he's got me by the hip
And I'm thinking right, here we go, this might be a good one
Then he stopped. And he shuddered. And he said oh Jesus, sorry
And the microwave behind me still had forty seconds left
Thirty seconds, thirty seconds
A pump, a grunt, and a fucking apology
Thirty seconds, thirty seconds
Jesus, was that it?
He came inside me before I'd got the second fucking boot off
Call it the Monaghan minute, the Mullingar sprint
Thirty seconds, thirty seconds
And I'm still in me coat
I says is there any chance at all of a second go
He says give me twenty minutes, and he's snoring down the hall
So I'm sat there in the kitchen with a cup of tea and crisps
With his cum drying on me leg and the telly on at two
He wakes up at the seven and he's full of all the chat
Says last night was unbelievable. It fucking was, I says
Thirty seconds, thirty seconds
A pump, a grunt, and a fucking apology
Thirty seconds, thirty seconds
Jesus, was that it?
He came inside me before I'd got the second fucking boot off
Call it the Monaghan minute, the Mullingar sprint
Thirty seconds, thirty seconds
And I'm still in me coat
Now I'd not be one to shame a man, I would not do that at all
But he's after telling half the county he's a mighty ride
Standing in the Spar on Monday with his chest out like a bird
Saying she could not walk the Sunday. I could run a fucking marathon
So this one's for the lads who think that coming is the finish
You came, love. I didn't. That is not the same fucking thing
Now they call him Lightning in the pub and he does not know for why
And he takes it as a compliment and buys a round of drink
I never said a word to anyone, I never had to say
Sure the walls up there are paper and the whole street heard me laughing
Thirty seconds, thirty seconds!
A pump, a grunt, and a fucking apology!
Thirty seconds, thirty seconds!
Jesus, was that it?
He came inside me before I'd got the second fucking boot off!
Call it the Monaghan minute, the Mullingar sprint!
Thirty seconds, thirty seconds!
And I'm still in me coat!
So here's to the quick ones
At least you're home early.
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