The Birmingham Ho

Okay

Taxi!

I met this girl in a Birmingham taxi

I got it first, but she slipped in before me

Just as I was telling her, "Hey this is mine, ho"

She already told the cab driver where to go

Me I always show respect for the ladies

I sat back and let her have it her way

So good lord sees me through darkness and light

I tell you what I remembered from that night

"I'm hungry, do you fancy a little something to eat?

I can't go on forever on Cognac and weed"

But she was already on the way down in the seat

I tried to stop her, or maybe I didn't

So there I was in a strange situation

The chauffeur said "I can drop you off at the station"

I said "No man, no don't

I tell you when to stop keep your eyes on the road"

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

Two hours later, she was still at it

The driver had to refill gasoline and shit

Baby baby, introduce yourself

What's your name, girl?

"My name is Fred"

"Fred?"

"Fred, yeah"

"Fred, a what, a what did you say?"

Now that put me back a bit 'cause I'm not gay

Now that put me back a bit 'cause I'm not gay

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

So whatever kind of trouble you might get yourself into

Just think of me that night and what I went through

I thought it was Helen or Marie or whatever, giving me head

Until I realised it was this dude called Fred (Hello)

And that was a Birmingham Ho

Hey, ho hey, ho hey

And that was a Birmingham Ho

Hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey

Take it away now

Hold on a minute, that's bullshit

You told me it was a microphone

And you wanted me to sing in it

I have a lot of friends and I do lots of things for them

I don't think it's me, I think it's you that have a problem

So zip up and try to be a gentleman

I have feelings too and I don't need you to hurt them

So zip up and try to be a gentleman

So zip up and try to be a gentleman

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good okay?

And that was a Birmingham Ho

Hey, ho hey, ho hey

And that was a Birmingham Ho

Hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey

Ho hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey...