The Birmingham Ho

OK... Taxi! I met this girl in a Birmingham taxi I got it first, but she slipped in before me Just as I was telling her, hey this is mine She already told the cab driver where to go Me I always show respect for the ladies I sat back and let her have it her way So good lord sees me through darkness and light I tell you what I remembered from that night I'm hungry, do you fancy a little something to eat? I can't go on forever on Cognac and weed But she was already on the way down in the seat I tried to stop her, or maybe I didn't So there I was in a strange situation The chauffeur said I can drop you off at the station I said no man, no don't I tell you when to stop keep your eyes on the road You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK Two hours later, she was still at it The driver had to refill gasoline and shit Baby baby, introduce yourself What's your name, girl? My name is Fred Fred? Fred, yeah Fred, a'what a'what did you say? Now that put me back a bit 'cos I'm not gay Now that put me back a bit 'cos I'm not gay You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK So whatever kind of trouble you might get yourself into Just think of me that night and what I went through I thought it was Helen or Marie or whatever, giving me head Until I realised it was this dude called Fred ... Hello And that was a Birmingham Ho Hey, ho hey, ho hey And that was a Birmingham Ho Hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey Take it away now. Hold on a minute, that's bullshit You told me it was a microphone And you wanted me to sing in it I have a lot of friends and I do lots of things for them I don't think it's me, I think it's you that have a problem So zip up and try to be a gentleman I have feelings too and I don't need you to hurt them So zip up and try to be a gentleman So zip up and try to be a gentleman You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK No, you don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK You don't have to be gay to make a friend feel good OK And that was a Birmingham Ho Hey, ho hey, ho hey And was a Birmingham Ho Hey, ho hey, ho hey, ho hey...